FAILURE
I have been accused before of being too judgemental. I think sometimes thats true. I can be harsh sometimes, and mostly the label of being too judgemental comes from a perception that subjectivity is involved. I have high subjective standards and when those standards are not met I am critical, but that critique can always be tempered by the fact that it is subjective. This judgemental tendency doesnt only apply to the world and what I see in it, but also myself. I've been told that I'm to hard on myself. Fine, that comes with the territory.
But what about when I set OBJECTIVE goals and standards for myself? Then I dont think its valid to say that I'm being too judgemental, I think the truth, unpleasant as it might be, must be acknowledged. The truth is so far, by my standards, my desire to get back in shape has been met only with failiure. I havent been working out enough, I havent been eating right, I havent been smoking less, I havent been going to bed on time, I havent been getting out of bed on time. Last night I bumped in to an old friend on the train who happens to be living only a block away from me. So it was understandable that we went out for a beer. I have to be flexible, I cant be a nazi about this. When I got home afterwards though, instead of drinking some water and going to bed, I turned on the TV and stayed up for over an hour. This is unacceptable. This morning, I had to get up and move my car. I was immediately blessed with a legal spot that wouldnt require the usual double move. Instead of taking the opportunity to go back to my apartment, eat breakfast, shower, get dressed and get to work on time for a change, I went back to bed. Not only did I go back to bed, but I stayed in bed despite setting my alarm about two or three times to respectable hours that would allow me enough time to get ready and get to work. So, I got out of bed at 9:45 and got to work about an hour later.
I know I'm capable of better, I've done it before, as recently as Monday when I went out for that bike ride despite the coma feeling and taking a bonghit. So my conclusion is, I dont think its unfair, or too judgemental, to say that Week 1 has been an unqualified FAILURE.
But what about when I set OBJECTIVE goals and standards for myself? Then I dont think its valid to say that I'm being too judgemental, I think the truth, unpleasant as it might be, must be acknowledged. The truth is so far, by my standards, my desire to get back in shape has been met only with failiure. I havent been working out enough, I havent been eating right, I havent been smoking less, I havent been going to bed on time, I havent been getting out of bed on time. Last night I bumped in to an old friend on the train who happens to be living only a block away from me. So it was understandable that we went out for a beer. I have to be flexible, I cant be a nazi about this. When I got home afterwards though, instead of drinking some water and going to bed, I turned on the TV and stayed up for over an hour. This is unacceptable. This morning, I had to get up and move my car. I was immediately blessed with a legal spot that wouldnt require the usual double move. Instead of taking the opportunity to go back to my apartment, eat breakfast, shower, get dressed and get to work on time for a change, I went back to bed. Not only did I go back to bed, but I stayed in bed despite setting my alarm about two or three times to respectable hours that would allow me enough time to get ready and get to work. So, I got out of bed at 9:45 and got to work about an hour later.
I know I'm capable of better, I've done it before, as recently as Monday when I went out for that bike ride despite the coma feeling and taking a bonghit. So my conclusion is, I dont think its unfair, or too judgemental, to say that Week 1 has been an unqualified FAILURE.
posted by gros lard at 11:47 AM
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